Empathy can have a profound impact on our ability to solve problems both for organizations we are a part of and for helping to bring about a better quality of life for the individuals we hold most important to us. Being able to empathize with someone else allows us to place ourselves into their shoes so we can understand what they are thinking and what the best approach to support them may be. This helps us build trust with them, can help us learn lessons about ourselves that we can apply to our own lives, and can reveal what someone is really struggling with on a deeper level. In many cases, surface-level problems will be individually addressed but by empathizing with someone you can learn the deep-rooted issues or challenges someone may be experiencing and work to help at the core of the problem. This approach can help to address surface-level issues and provide the person with a long-term foundation to hold onto rather than just patchwork fixes.
In my own empathy interview, some of the most striking observations did not usually include what someone necessarily said but what their facial expressions and body language showed while they were saying something. For instance, many people when faced with something painful or difficult to talk about will turn their head or body away from you and lessen the amount of eye contact. They will look around the room rather than at you. While more difficult to explain, you can also see a lot of emotion in someone’s eyes and can usually read deeper pain from the appearance of someone’s eyes. The individual I interviewed as well also conveyed some of the difficulties he had experienced through voice cracks, which usually occur when something becomes difficult to talk about and evokes an emotional response. When evaluating how you can either improve something for somebody or support someone through a difficult time it is often these less obvious signs that can help you better understand what someone’s words are trying to say. In many cases, allowing people the opportunity to show these kinds of emotions and being a listening ear for them can also help them without you even doing anything more. Listening is one of the most powerful tools we have, while simultaneously being one of the hardest yet simplest skills we can have. In the end, listening is where empathy truly begins and it is what builds the foundation for any change we are to bring about in life.
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The word I would select as a name trade would be empathetic. According to Webster’s dictionary, being empathetic is, “showing an ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” From a young age, I have felt that I have always had a unique ability to put myself in the shoes of others and be able to relate to what they are going through and the associated thought processes with their experiences. I have usually had very good intuition when it comes to looking at another person and picking up what they are thinking or feeling. Along with being able to pick up on and understand people’s emotions, I have been able to help them work through their troubles and come out stronger afterwards. I have been able to make a lot of good friends over the years because they know I can be trusted and they know I can relate to whatever issue they are facing. I am good at providing direction and putting people on the correct path. I am also a great listener, which helps to feel what another person is feeling.
Seeking out the feedback of others is one of the most important characteristics in both leadership and a journey to improving yourself. When The Edge, Jimmy Page, and Jack White come together in It Might Get Loud, the desire to learn from each other is something that is evident in all three of them. In any leader or person of influence, you must be able to take feedback and, no matter how successful you are, you must always be trying to find a way to be better. Jack White explains this concept well, “If you don’t have a struggle already inside you or around you, you need to make one up.” He also says, “You always worry about just being satisfied.” No person is perfect and we can always make some change in our lives to make ourselves better. Failure only comes when we become content and stop trying to be better. As long as we are striving for improvement everything is a setback rather than a failure. Being observant is also a critical skill in bettering yourself and in being an effective leader. All three men in It Might Get Loud closely observe each other so they can form good questions and take away as many lessons as they possibly can from those around them.
No matter how much money or fame we are able to obtain, if we do not feel as if we are making a positive impact on people and making a difference for the better of others, I would argue we will feel as if we do not matter. Putting a smile on someone else’s face, teaching them a new way to do something, helping them find a new way of thinking about something, or fixing something for someone else is where I think we find true purpose. A society where everyone is working for the betterment of the people around them is where we feel as if we matter. It is this human connection that we desire and brings us some of our most fulfilled. The Edge compares his music to this connection, “the biggest thrill is creating something that has the power to really connect with people.” I one day hope to make an impact on people like this. In my life experience to this point, helping people and helping them to either find more joy in life or overcome their own adversity is the single most rewarding feeling I have experienced. This rewarding feeling is what I feel makes us all feel like we truly matter. In It Might Get Loud I think all three musicians are a prime example of finding this purpose in their lives. They love what they do and love to be able to share it with other people. It provides them a thrill to be able to do what they love and improve even if it is something they don’t think they are doing well. This enjoyment and making an impact on other people is what I truly believe makes you feel as if you matter.
Empathy is one of the most important skills in life and is especially valuable in the design thinking process. Being able to empathize with another person can give you an insight into what they find important, how you may be able to share your time and talents to benefit their life, and how your own experiences may relate to their own. In the design thinking process, applying this skill allows you to develop a better solution because you are not just solving a problem, but you are understanding the deeper impact it is going to make. This will allow you to be more invested in the project as well.
Immersing yourself in the environment of your end user is another important part of the design thinking process. In many ways, this immersion can help us empathize with why the problem being faced may be significant because we will have to experience it ourselves. Being within the bounds of the problem also can push forward our ability to think of newer, more advanced, and more complex solutions. Empathizing and immersing yourself in the situation are the backbone of coming to understand people. Putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is an extremely powerful tool in both design and life. Vulnerability is also important to this immersion. You must be willing to be open and honest to connect with the problem and allow yourself to think of solutions that may seem unreasonable at first but useful in practice. Design thinking also encourages people to assume a beginner’s mindset, which in and of itself is empathy. When we empathize with someone we are assuming we know nothing and placing ourselves in their shoes so that we may come to know what they are feeling. In design, a beginner’s mindset allows us to see that anything is possible. Limitations on ideas can be eliminated and solutions that may have been thrown out if we restrict ourselves can be explored. Innovation is made by pushing the limits, not by knowing them. The only way we can improve is if we approach what we are trying to accomplish as if we are a beginner who knows nothing and wants to gather as much information as possible. No different than a small child who is just beginning their journey in life, we must be curious and ask lots of questions so that we can continue to learn and push ourselves to be better. When you become open to so many ideas, you are also exposing yourself to a greater chance your ideas may not be agreed upon by your peers. While many outcomes are not in your control when you are designing something, putting your ego aside is a choice. When it comes to conflict the best way to navigate its difficulties is to be a good listener. Be patient when you speak and make the choice to listen to what someone else has to say. If you have decided to be empathetic, your solution being the answer should not be important as you are trying to solve a problem that is bigger than yourself. If you have taken an empathetic approach to the process your idea not necessarily being the right one should not be a big deal, but at the end of the day, it is your choice. The goal should be to solve the problem, not be correct.
Leadership. A regularly used description but a difficult quality to find in practice. One of the toughest concepts for many to grasp, and ultimately one of the greatest obstacles to achieving your own full potential, is your ability to inspire others. Leadership entails pushing others to be their best, guiding them to discover their own strengths, and inspiring them to have self-confidence. A great leader listens, empathizes, and uniquely responds to the vast number of personalities and quirks that they encounter in each person they meet and work with. Someone who cannot responsibly handle these differences and is unable to look through the eyes of another is not a leader. Responsibility and leadership are inseparable.
A common phrase iterated in my life is “Better Together.” This simple saying should be the foundation of a great leader. In a multi-talented group of individuals, an ordinary person given power will likely be able to set a goal and deadline. Meanwhile, a leader will get to know whom they are working with, what each individual’s strengths are, and delegate tasks according to what each person is capable of and, most importantly, interest. Connecting with colleagues and finding what makes them the happiest should be of top importance to any leader. If you were to build a house you would have a toolbox of all different varieties of tools, not just 10 different brands of the same tool. It is the uniqueness of each tool that allows the builder to be successful not the number of tools in the toolbox. A great leader is able to identify the uniqueness of every one of their partners so they can be the most successful. It does not matter how much talent a team possesses; if they are unable to effectively distribute that talent for the greater good of one another they will be unsuccessful in their task. It falls upon the shoulders of great leaders to bring about this distribution. One of the most well-known quotes of Hall of Fame basketball coach Phil Jackson is, “You can’t force your will on people. If you want them to act differently, you need to inspire them to change themselves.” Most people are unresponsive to being demanded to do something. You cannot force enjoyment upon someone. You cannot necessarily force conflicting personalities to agree with each other. A mark of an influential leader is someone that is able to seek out what those around them are comfortable with and most relaxed doing. It is their job to show their colleagues that putting “we” before “me” can bring about success. Even people that may not agree with each other or like each other can work together if they can be shown that they can achieve great things as one. A leader is able to recognize the differences in people and why conflict may arise, and can put individuals together to accomplish something great. Often, the trivial things that divide individuals are what aid us in achieving great things as a whole. Leaders must consistently remain even-tempered and impartial when dealing with conflict. They are an example to those around them of accepting change and its benefits. As a leader, your own passion and engagement toward the topic are also correlated to the achievement of those you attempt to lead. Telling someone the benefits of something is a more effective strategy for change than telling them what they should do word for word. You should not lord over others, but rather encourage the power of your teammates. Benjamin Zander, a conductor for the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the Boston Philharmonic Youth Orchestra, in his 2008 TED talk uses the example of a conductor leading an orchestra while not making a sound. The orchestra is made up of numerous parts that on their own may sound good, but together become something irreplicable. It is the job of the conductor to transform the good sound that each instrument stands with on its own and turn it into the incredible sound that listeners enjoy. Even though the focus of an orchestra is auditory, the person in charge of leading it makes no sound at all. A good leader is like a conductor, doing all of the intangibles that take the individual talents of their teammates and morph them into something more powerful. Leadership is exemplified by your actions and allowing others to see and learn by your example. If you are to bring out the best in those around you, you will find the most success in showing you want them to succeed in life not just in their work. If you can convince a team that you, as a leader, want the best for them, it is more likely they will put forth better results in an attempt to honor your goals and happiness. Shining eyes is another topic that Mr. Zander touches on in his speech. He explains that awakening possibilities in other people brings about a shine to them. It is this shine that he sees as true success. As a leader, this is the shine that must be strived for in every person we come across. If we are successful in creating this sparkle, all other successes will follow. Creating this sparkle entails revealing to someone that they matter and that those around them believe in them. A leader should always create hope for their teammates and be seen as someone that is trusted. They should be viewed as someone that can be approached with a problem and be kind and respectful in every situation. When people are faced with adversity, someone who will listen and demonstrate that support to their teammate no matter what can be a critical source of hope. When things are going well, this cushion of hope that a great leader provides is what powers the sparkle in someone’s eyes. This sparkle is a person’s ability to take a risk and push themselves to be their best. They know the level at which someone will be there to catch them is higher than it would be if they were not supported by a great leader. Because of this support, they can reach higher into the sky of their dreams. |
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